{pressing forward}

thoughts. quotes. words.

As I reflect back on my life and where I am now, I know without a doubt that I was never, ever left alone, even if I felt like I was. But those were just moments. In the big picture - eternal perspective - I see them as "small moments." I know I will have more trying moments in my life, but I am so thankful to have them, because I know I can get through anything with the Savior by my side, and ulitimately I can become stronger. I cannot do it alone. I am weak. But in my darkest moments I feel as if unseen friends are cheering, "Press forward with a perfect brightness of hope!" Those words got me through some of my darkest moments. Knowing that "the best is yet to be" made all the difference. It amazes me, that despite all my weaknesses, my Father in Heaven loves me, and still grants me blessings and wants me to be happy. I have so much to be thankful for.

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."
-Jeffrey R. Holland

This got me thinking about ways to embrace the gospel... embracing the gospel is not always easy... but it is worth it. Then I came across this quote:

"...They knew that we must live the gospel at all times, not just when things are convenient and not just when things are going smoothly. That is when we get to see what we're made of and how strong our commitment to the gospel really is."

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

If you believe, it will and can happen.

[make a wish... photo taken on june 13]

“...Obedience to the Lord’s commandments provides us confidence in our chosen path, qualifies us for His guidance and direction as we pursue our efforts, and offers us the potential to become like our Savior, Jesus Christ, and return to our Father’s presence.”

My daughter reminds me of what life is all about. I know I've said it before, but she truly is my angel. She gives me hope and strength. I look at her and feel her purity. She reminds me that happiness can be ours even through the storms of life.

My earth angel.

[This photo makes me cry. It is bitter sweet. Jan. 13, 2008]

"In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes"

My pretty princess. Oh, how I love her.

[Seriously, how did she get so big so fast?! Photo taken June 24]

One thing I have learned through trials is that holding on definitely makes you stronger, but so does letting go.

I'm really thankful that I've had such a strong desire to document my life through journaling and through photography. I've really learned and gained so much inspiration through it. It's a blessing to be able to look back and see how far I've come with the help of my Savior and those around me. The beauty of the earth and of life just overwhelmes me at times. I just want to share one entry that I recently went back and read that really strengthen my testimony about keeping a journal.

May 11, 2007: These pages are blank, yet they fill me with hope. I start this journal in a very exciting time in my life. I am carrying a precious spirit inside of me. It's amazing how much I have grown spritually in the last year. It's been about exactly a year since I started writing everyday. To anyone that reads this: consistant journaling changes your life... It has made so much difference in helping me remember the Lord in my daily life. It has helped me put into perspective the struggles I face... My worth here on earth as a child of God. Because of my desire to write in this, God has blessed me with peace in knowing that I can make it through anything, but only with my Savior's help and grace. If it weren't for the scriptures and good people who write amazing books I think I would still be wondering around not knowing why I go through certain things. Also the example's of strong people around me help me feel that it is possible to overcome anything on this earth and to become more and more like our Father, [my dad] and Christ [my big brother]. I hope and pray that despite my weaknesses and flaws that I can become stronger everyday through Christ's atoning sacrifice for me. I hope I will be able to look back on this and remember how blessed I am and how much I need my Savior. He is always there for me...

[reposted photo. taken Feb. 28]

"To you women of today, who are old or young, may I suggest to you that you write, that you keep journals, that you express your thoughts on paper. Writing is a great discipline. It is a tremendous education effort. It will assist you in various ways, and you will bless the lives of many--now and in the years to come, as you put on paper some of your experiences and some of your musings."
--President Gordon B. Hinckley

With change on the horizon, I can't help but feel at peace and oh, so blessed. My Chris never ceases to amaze me. He has a heart of gold. He makes me want to be a better person, mother, and friend. He makes me want to pray with more meaning and with my whole heart, read my scriptures with more intent, he makes me want to be more patient and kind, and to be happy and cheerful even when the world if filled with darkness all around me. He makes light shine into my soul.

If you think of the Savior, and all he did for everyone, he gave his life for all of us, yet it’s up to us as individuals to take that in, and to LET him change us. I think that although no one is perfect, we too have so much potential to become like Christ, that we can be that kind of light to those around us. And in a relationship/marriage that can be so true as well. We can lift and build each other up by following the example of the Savior. And as long as we LET that change happen, looking at the example’s being set by one another, it is possible, and I believe it can continue in a marriage forever. And it is happening right now with us.

One of my hopes in life is to have the kind of marriage where we not only stay so in love until we are old and wrinkly…but that our love grows even stronger over time. “I thought I loved you then” kind of love. I know that (True) Love is an action word, it is completely unselfish. I believe that when we live each day for someone else that Heavenly Father grants us the joys of love, pure love, when you lose yourself... you find yourself... love and happiness follow. I know without doubt that every marriage has mountains to climb. But I also know that problems are not permanent. With faith in the Lord, there is an ultimate solution to every problem, and having an eternal perspective gives us strength to bear one another’s burdens and find joy even while going through the trials and challenges. I know that being completely open and honest is really important. I am willing and able to give all of myself to marriage and family, and always have been. I want to give my whole heart and soul to my love, my best friend Chris.

I feel confident that I can "press forward." Knowing full well that challenges and trials await me [because we all have them]. But the joy and happiness that come from having an eternal family makes it all worth it. There is no greater joy than knowing that families can be together forever.

[SLC Temple. photo's taken May 5]

This song reminds me of us:

"I did everything I could to get you here tonight

Without telling you why

Now girl if you only would, please hold out your hand

Just close your eyes

I've been dying to ask you one burning question

Will you be mine?

From here to eternity

I'm asking you to share your life with me

Now and forever I guarantee, I'll always stay by your side

I promise my love to you

I'm willing and able and ready to

Whatever you need

I am here for you, and I'll always be

From here to eternity..."

"Each of us faces an uncertain future. But when we face it, remembering what we already know, we face it with faith. We face it with good cheer. We face it with confidence....

"'Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward!' Remember that we come into this life hardwired, so to speak, to fall in love. Don't make it harder than it is! Remember what you know, and move forward with confidence in Heavenly Father and the standing you enjoy as His son or daughter."

I am pressing forward with hope, confidence and faith.

Looking forward at the road ahead... such a beautiful sight in my minds eye... "There is [definitely] hope smiling brightly before us!"

[photo taken June 26 at the cabin. there's more where this came from...stay tuned.]

They are so darn cute together. My heart just melts. Oh, how I love them. Chris is going to be an amazing dad. Brylie has already fallen in love with him. Lucky for him, he gets two girls!!